I was browsing reddit

And encountered the most amazing post the world has ever seen.

For those of you who don't like reading:

Spoiler

Some guy "rescued" an octopus from a sushi restaurant (saved its life by stealing it from the tank). He stuck it under his coat, and since it was such a short walk home, he stopped by the liquor store. You'd think that buying Guinness while hiding an octopus would be bizarre enough, but no. He gets the six-pack of bottles and the octopus home, puts the octopus in a tank, and puts the beer down beside it. He leaves for a little while, and when he comes back, the octopus has escaped, opened a bottle, and gotten drunk off its ass. This man then asks reddit if this is a bad thing.
I didn't actually know reality allowed this kind of thing to happen.

EDIT: I guess that's actually a lot to read. Maybe if you don't like reading you should get off the internet.

I am going to assume he's for real, because he didn't give us the back story at first.

 

Well that's something you don't see every day. I wonder what was going through his mind.

 

Lol. I think I know this guy personally. We weirdos stick together. I knew a guy who lost his pet scorpion in a pub...or the writer of this prestigious magazine...:http://untruelies.com/ ...