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Are you kidding me? I'm gone for one day and whyme's new thread gets five pages? Does not compute...

Granted, but cherry-eating elephants play piano. I wish I could sing well.

Granted, but the tabs are 7 inches apart and form the corners of a triangle. I wish I had a pet cat.

You're dead. Well, you got what you wished for. I wish I could grant anyone's wishes.

Granted. You spend all your waking time playing the game, thus failing at school/work and ruining your life. You accidentally kill yourself when you go berserk after your electricity gets turned off. I wish I could go berserk through the city with no bad consequences on my part.

Granted, you now have only one dollar. Have fun making money. I wish I had more money than I have now.

Incorrect spelling of "ad nauseam". Nausea

Granted. All the karaoke-haters and Coke-lovers club you to death. I wish Lowell's last wish was granted.

DB's fetish. Acronym

Like kazoo, but for sex instead of music. Kazoo

Nope, no ignoring. I love recursion! Ahem... "I LOVE RYUUOUTAN!!!!!!11!one!"

A small tree grows... out of your nose. Have fun with a horribly disfigured face and almost all of your senses damaged. I wish I got a GOLD account for free.

Default state of mind of an average Windows user. Default

Granted. Congratulations on creating a TIME PARADOX and have fun in stone age. I wish to be able to see the future.

Because you're always busy with boring stuff. Why do you do that?

"Hey, my hamster died today, can I just add it in?"

Whoa, I almost forgot about this (why do you ignore me?). Yes, cheese, you're totally off.

Granted. He now steals them THREE MINUTES after they post. I wish for a gold bar to appear in front of me on the table in such a way that will not cause harm to me or anyone else and will not cause me any troubles.

Granted, your name is now Chuck Norris. Expect having your ass kicked by a certain someone for stealing his name. I wish I had the power to control other people.

Happy birthday to my favorite narcissistic jerk, the birthday wisher himself, VoidMage_Lowell (mind the spelling, please).

lace, igots & everyone who grants cancer: You fail oh so very much.[/offtopic] Granted. You now have a pair of large breasts. You suffer from severe back pains, are percieved as a freak and lose all your money, so you have to give boobjobs to ugly guys for a living. I wish Pac-Man was real.

Granted. It's parmesan (or whatever kind of cheese you aren't). I wish I wasn't lazy.

Granted. You have been aborted from time. You have never been, so your wish has never been made or granted. Enjoy your non-existence. I wish I was born ten years earlier.

Granted, but it's square. I wish to know whether God exists.

Granted. You now have no lawn. I wish to be able to read other people's thoughts in such way that won't harm me ar anyone else.