Cave Story Story

Feb 21, 2010 at 4:58 AM
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I don't know if there is a thread like this one, but I'm creating it anyway. Here's a preveiw of my Cave Story Story, named Surface Story.

Quote woke up. He was lying face first in a grassy plain, or what was left of it. Quote looked around slowly. Most of the plain was replaced by a large, no, humungous crater. Quote could see the Balcony, where he fought the Doctor on the Floating Island, before it fell out of the sky, just sticking out of the hole. It's that big, he thought to himself. Quote could barely take in what he was seeing. The whole island, smashed into the ground. Ground. The Surface. He slowly walked over to the edge of the crater. In it he could see a distant cave, way at the bottom, one that led into the island. He began to make his way down to the opening. I hope Curly and the others are OK, he thought with a shiver. On a cliff, just metres below him, he saw a small white rabbit, lying still. He was wearing a blue top that was torn in many places, and there were patches of red on his white fur. He didn't look very good.

Tell me what you think, and if you are doing something similar.
 
Feb 21, 2010 at 7:28 AM
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On a cliff, just metres below him, he saw a small white rabbit, lying still. He was wearing a blue top that was torn in many places, and there were patches of red on his white fur. He didn't look very good.

Sounds too much like Kanpachi.
Kanpachi cannot be harmed by any physical object.
Story is innacurate, change it plz.
 
Feb 21, 2010 at 7:29 AM
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As in, how did he get on the ground? Stuff like that?

And, the mimiga is not Kanpachi.
 
Feb 21, 2010 at 11:32 AM
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Something similar? Um, this is what we call a "fanfic". Yeah, they've been done before, both as standard fics and mods (hey, it's still a fan story, right?). Also, just nitpicking, but this thread could've been made in the Cave Story subforum.
 
Feb 22, 2010 at 3:21 AM
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Oh, I'd have done that if I had known but yeah. Anyways, I'll be posting a link to it on Fanfiction, as soon as my account is old enough to do so. Until then, people who care have something to look forward to.
 
Feb 22, 2010 at 3:28 AM
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I like it.

MAKE MORE!!!!
 
Feb 22, 2010 at 4:54 AM
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Why thank you. I will post regular updates here, such as new chapters and whatnot.
If there are enough requests, I may make another one, folloing on from a different ending, or maybe just write something based round the events of Cave Story. Either way, the story should be up by tommorow.
 
Feb 22, 2010 at 4:56 AM
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How many requests do you need?
 
Feb 22, 2010 at 5:04 AM
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Depends, mainly on what you want me to do.
I'd say around 20 to 30 should be fine, and I'll pick the most wanted one.

I would also be really, really happy if someone who is a better artist than me could make some cover art, but thats not a priority, they may have to red the story first to clarify what they could draw.
 
Feb 22, 2010 at 5:23 AM
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Nameisnotname said:
Depends, mainly on what you want me to do.
I'd say around 20 to 30 should be fine, and I'll pick the most wanted one.

Are there even that many people on the entire forum?
I mean, yes, there are, but active people.
 
Feb 22, 2010 at 5:29 AM
Been here way too long...
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Noxid said:
Are there even that many people on the entire forum?
I mean, yes, there are, but active people.
Andwhy, Gardebiter, Lace, DragonBoots, T-Jack, Lowell, Cheese, whyme, Mr Fist, Cyowolf, Kageryushin, Schokobecher, MetaSeraphim, DoubleThink, GIRakaCHEEZER, Fahrenheight, Fire, Jackalope, Yakkers, thecrown, Uncy Dave, you and me. Who did I miss?

About this fanfic: I support it, because it is writing, but it remains to be seen whether it's anything special.
 
Feb 22, 2010 at 7:12 AM
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I would love whoever makes a mod of this, hoping someone does. I would, but I struggle getting my head around TSC at the moment. Or heaps of people could work together and they could start a thread about progress or whatever.

Just a suggestion.
 
Feb 22, 2010 at 7:38 AM
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Nameisnotname said:
Or heaps of people could work together and they could start a thread about progress or whatever.

It should be noted that all attempts to start a collab mod, a group project of that sort have ended horribly, as in it didn't happen.

Also TSC is really basic stuff really. If TSC is a bit challenging you won't want to look into assembly without some courage.

But write the story first, at least before trying to make a mod of it. It would be nice for someone to make a mod of it, but really making a mod takes a lot of work....

...wow that was a lot of offtopicness, I think.

I don't know if "Cave story story" is the best name for your fanfic, since it's kind of redundant and plain. And Kanpachi is indeed invincible, or at least this thread states so.

Good luck writing.
 
Feb 22, 2010 at 7:41 AM
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It's not called Cave Story Story, it's called Surface Story.

But I support your support. :D
 
Feb 22, 2010 at 7:57 AM
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So that means it's a "Cave story" story?

I see, although the title surface story doesn't seem too original in itself, but that's ok.

Still the title of the thread seems a bit off. "Cave story story" just looks like really bad grammar. Beware if grammar nazis (like Lowell) come after this thread, or your fanfic.

It doesn't look like it has too many errors so far, but if I were you I'd try to avoid starting all of your sentences with "Quote" or "He". Gets a bit repetitive.
 
Feb 22, 2010 at 8:09 AM
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Haha, Lowell will find out and be happy he has someone to criticize. The later sentances have Curly in them, and there's going to be plenty of origional characters in there, including me and my brother. Extra spaces can be reserved for others who want to be in but you don't have to.

I realize that this makes me sound desperate for characters. I'm not.
 
Feb 22, 2010 at 1:18 PM
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Nameisnotname said:
Haha, Lowell will find out and be happy he has someone to criticize. The later sentances have Curly in them, and there's going to be plenty of origional characters in there, including me and my brother. Extra spaces can be reserved for others who want to be in but you don't have to.

GIR was talking about the habit of starting a series of sentences in close proximity with the same word, which is a no-no. It makes your writing sound dry and repetitive. For example;

Original said:
Quote woke up. He was lying face first in a grassy plain, or what was left of it. Quote looked around slowly. Most of the plain was replaced by a large, no, humungous crater. Quote could see the Balcony, where he fought the Doctor on the Floating Island, before it fell out of the sky, just sticking out of the hole.

Nox said:
Quote woke up. He was lying face first in a grassy plain, or what was left of it. Looking around slowly, he could see that most of the plain had been marred by a massive crater. Soil and stone were strewn about the landscape, thrown by the tremendous force of impact. In the distant center of the crater's radius, Quote could see the remnants of the Balcony where nigh hours ago he had fought the Doctor on the Floating Island before its fatal descent.

As you can see, I took pains to never start two sentences in the same paragraph with the same word. Variety, lots of variety is what makes writing sound good. However, you have to be careful not to try too hard to add extra variety or you may make some choices that are less than optimal.

[Disclaimer: I have not actually read your story.]
 
Feb 22, 2010 at 6:35 PM
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Sounds fair. Proofreading is in order!
 
Feb 22, 2010 at 9:25 PM
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Definitely looks interesting.

I wish you the best of luck in your literature skills!
 
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